A Gift from Feedback
What if the feedback we receive helps us discover a superpower we didn't know we have?
When I was younger, I preferred reading alone to almost any other activity. I would have identified as an introvert, and “networking” was not something I identified as a strength. I loved getting to know others and building meaningful relationships, but working a room was not where I shined.
Later in life, I was talking with my friend Lisa Shalett about our strengths and weaknesses. Lisa is the co-founder of Extraordinary Women on Boards, a powerhouse curated community of hundreds of public company directors. A board director and seasoned executive herself, Lisa is naturally curious about those around her, which means she asks wonderful questions. She has a gift for giving effective empowering feedback. I asked her what gifts she saw in me, and she immediately said that I am a “super connector.”
At first, I dreaded this label. It made me feel like a human rolodex. I told Lisa as much.
But she pushed me. Why, she asked, is that such a bad thing? I told her that I was afraid that being seen as connector meant my value was just for who I know, and not for the thought-leadership and insights that I can bring to the table.
Lisa, though, reframed the conversation. She actually saw the opposite. Because I was good at getting to know people more deeply and learning important things about their character, passions, distinctive strengths and the context in which they operate, I was able to connect people thoughtfully--in a way that always create deep value. Lisa named that I was able to align people based on shared values. This was actually an substantive leadership act.
And because connections are thoughtfully curated, are in alignment with their values and timely for the opportunities and challenges that they face, leaders prioritize my introductions and saw me as a trusted advisor.
I now believe--thanks to Lisa--that one of my superpowers is facilitating meaningful connections between people. It’s an innate gift shared in an inimitable way. But I never would have known this about myself if it weren’t for feedback from a trusted friend and respected thought-partner.
Because we have a hard time seeing ourselves clearly and in pace with a rapidly changing context, feedback is often the primary way we can discover our superpowers. When given generously and positively, feedback can be one of our greatest tools for self-empowerment and growth. Feedback shouldn’t make us recoil. It should help us to see ourselves more clearly and discern what is unique about us - and discover our superpowers.
The thing about superpowers is that they can be difficult to see in ourselves. They’re so intrinsic to who we are and how we operate that we fail to notice them. So, if you’re not sure what your superpower is yet, ask for feedback! Sit down with a friend, mentor, or trusted coworker, and ask what unique qualities, gifts, traits, and skills they see in you. What do you bring to the table that is different from what others bring. What makes you extraordinary is among your biggest blindspots. When in doubt, get data.
Sharing a reading - We now live in a world defined by complexity. We are being reshaped by disruptions that upend pre-existing assumptions built on linear thinking. To innovate for the future, we need the ability to create imaginative analogies and forge surprising connections which transcend what any algorithm or piece of technology can yield. We need more than a collection of individual contributors: we need individuals working as a team.
In this Dialogue Review piece on “The Future of Work is Relationships”, I argue for the need to recognize not only the intellectual superpowers and functional expertise, but to also reward the types of superpowers that foster inter- and intra-team relationships. These can include fostering team chemistry, cross-pollinating valuable information, or increasing the ‘joy capital’ of work for everyone.
Thank you for reading this issue of Leadership Playbook: Unleashing Your Superpowers! A reason for me in writing this this newsletter is to refine the ideas that I’m working on. But I need your help. To do that best, I’d love to know what question you may have on each issue, or how it applies to your situation. Please email questions to me at CoachSanyin@gmail.com and share your feedback with me. THANK YOU!
And superpowers builds on my earlier work - The Launch Book. I believe the hero of every book is the reader. So, going forward, I’ll share a picture with you from a reader of The Launch Book. Paid subscribers receive a special monthly issue containing the audio of and excerpt from a chapter each month.
Got a leadership, career, or superpowers question? Let me know via comments or email and I hope to answer them in a future issue.
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